friends getting married

When your friends are getting married, but you’re not.

You know that phase, when you hit your twenties, and suddenly all of your friends are getting married? But you’re not even a tinsy bit close to the maze called “marriage” ?I can relate too.

This is an All The Single Ladies to Put A Ring On It spin for all my gals and guys.

It’s 3 a.m in the morning and a buzz of my phone wakes me up. A text. It says – ‘My boyfriend finally proposed!! I am going to walk down the isle and you are going to be my bridesmaid.’ And here I am like, ‘Shittttt!!! My nightmare begins.’ 

Friends getting married

I mean don’t get me wrong, I am happy for my best friend. I know this is what she wanted for a very long time and finally, her wish has come true. But my best friend getting proposed is also making me wonder about my social standing as a spinster, not going to lie. I am 27, financially independent, live with mom and dad, happy and healthy; I mean what more do I want. Not if you are Asian. According to the custom of my society, I should have gotten married 3 years ago. 

Have you ever played Dominoes? There is not much difference between your friends marrying and playing that game . When one starts to sing, ‘I am engaged, I am engaged!!’ (you know what I am talking about – Friends season 7, episode one) others follow suit. Right after our graduation people in my gang were planning their wedding and I was like ‘Why? Don’t you wanna enjoy life?’ My friends know me too well hence they didn’t take any offense at my remark. It is fun at first – decorating wedding trousseaus, dance rehearsals, going shopping for 10 different outfits because apparently, the bride is going to have 10 different wedding celebrations.


Wedding celebration

And then things took a dangerous turn: for me. My friends starts to tie the knot as if there is no tomorrow; dominoes toppling over everywhere. Especially in this pandemic, while some countries were barely surviving amidst this deadly virus, my friends somehow decides, ‘This is the only chance we are going to get off not inviting hundreds of people. Let’s marry, it’s going to be cheap.’ Their Facebook timeline is full of their wedding pictures. Here I was, surviving a pandemic, washing myself every twenty minutes, staying at home, and basically imagining that I live in a post-apocalypse zombie situation, and there my close friend texts me saying, ‘Guess where we are going for our honeymoon?’ 

This situation got me thinking. I mean not the pandemic, post-apocalyptic situation but all my friends becoming espoused, and there I was – not so espoused. What am I doing wrong? A voice spoke up in my mind,’ Like dudeeeee they got married because they had boyfriends and you don’t.’ Ouch!!! That hurt but the truth has been spoken. While my friends were matching themselves on Tinder, I was at home watching anime. 

When couples are happy in their relationship, they also want their single friends to experience that same feeling. It’s like opening a nonprofit volunteer organization – a couple of friends looking for a match for their single friends so they don’t die alone. Due to this thought, so many of my friends wanted to set me up but I consistently refused. But now when I think about it, I should have taken their offer. 

I miss the old days. We all hit adulthood more or less together. Early morning university classes we all hated with a burning passion never reckoned before, course advising, new crushes every semester, sleepovers, project submissions. Finally, the day came and we all graduated. It’s like finally, we are out of our university’s womb, ready to take on real-world challenges. I got my dream job and some got their dream partners. 

It makes me genuinely happy when I see my friends being happy in their married life. It gives me hope. I finally understand why some of my friends settled down with their spouse when they could have the world to themselves. Life can get very overwhelming and no sane people would want to go through it alone. A friend of mine once told me, ‘Yes, I know I can have all the adventures in the world. I am young, have all the time in the world but why do it alone when I have that special person with whom I want to spend all my life. I want us to grow old together and reminisce about those adventures.’ Then the couple exchanged that gooey romantic look we see actors do in movies. It may sound corny but the sentiment was so beautiful. 

From a “Forever Alone” standpoint, seeing my friends tying the knot, I understand one thing: finding someone who I am going to tie the knot when I find someone who speaks my love language and vice versa. Now I am off to listening to All The Single Ladies but I want to wish all the single guys and girls the best of luck. Hopefully, you will find your weirdo too. 

marriage and friends